Take me out to the ballgame

Yesterday one of the doctors I work for gave me tickets to the Toledo Mudhens game. So, off to the ballgame we went. We arrived during the second inning, and as we walked by the stadium promotional booth we were stopped by a young lady. She asked us if one of our children would like to race "Muddy" the mudhen around the bases after the third inning. Kenna and I recognized this as a unique opportunity and both Ella and Tanner were initially very excited. But then Ella said she didn't want to and Tanner changed his mind too. As Kenna filled out the legal forms I convinced Tanner he should do it. He very reluctantly agreed. The lady then took us down into the tunnel where we met "Muddy."

Let me try and describe how "Muddy" smelled. I want you to imagine mowing a big lawn at noon in Aug, take the shirt you are wearing and pass it to your neighbor who is also mowing his lawn. When he is done he passes it on to his neighbor. Repeat this process twelve times with the same shirt. Then take that shirt and put it in a gym bag for no less than 5 years. That is what "Muddy" smelled like. You'll notice I had Mary because Kenna stayed with Sarah, Ella, and Rylee and I thought she needed both hands for that. Mary plays an important role in the story later.

Next we went to the gate to the field to wait for our cue. Tanner became more nervous and decided he didn't want to go out. But there was one out until the end of the second inning and there was no time to get a replacement so we were committed to him going out there. The promotion lady told me that "Muddy" would walk him out and I had to stay in the tunnel. The inning ended and out went Muddy (no more apostrophes, please) but Tanner stayed put and would not go with him. They had already announced his name on the intercom. The lady looked at me and said you can go out to first base with him but he has to run around the bases by himself. OK. So I grab his hand and out the three of us go (don't forget Mary). So we get to first base and Muddy and a big cup of Tim Horton's coffee start running. Tanner stays put and begins to cry. Did I mention it was a sellout crowd of 10,00 people that night? Muddy and the coffee cup are encouraging him to run, the crowd is cheering him on, I, of course, am begging, pleading, and bribing him to run. Remember, I was told I couldn't run the bases with him. This goes on for an eternity (approx 30 seconds). Finally I look at the coffee cup and ask "can I run with him?" I figure Tim Horton's was the sponsor so the coffee cup had more authority than Muddy anyway. The cup said yes and off we went. Muddy was in the lead rounding second but Mary and I overtook him midway towards third and Tanner stormed from behind to win at third base. So, I have become the guy-who-ran-the-bases-carrying-a-baby-and-dragging-his-crying-child-behind-him. Good times!! Ironically, Ella ended up crying hysterically for two innings because she didn't get to run the bases. Eventually though, everyone recovered and a good time was had by all.

P.S. today was my last day as a fellow. I am now a full fledged doctor. Now Kenna is the only boss of me.