Iron and what?!

The following conversation took place over the dinner table a few days ago:

Tanner: Dad, did you know that Grandma has a book about iron and sex?

Me: .......uh......what?

Tanner: Did you know that Grandma has a book about iron and sex?

Me: .....uh.....what?

I had no idea how to respond to that question. I was trying to think about what such a book would really be about. Tanner is very interested in history so maybe it is a book about the start of the iron industry and the first iron tycoon's sultry wife, or maybe an adult themed coffee table book. I am not one to judge what type of literature another person reads but if grandma did, in fact, have a book about iron and sex why was she showing it to Tanner?

Tanner: Dad? Dad?

Me:

Tanner: He said something else but I wasn't paying attention because I was flipping through a coffee table book in my mind

I was finally able to get to the truth without having to answer any questions about what I thought he said. Thank goodness.

mmmm, Fritos...

Last week I got a haircut and every time I go it seems like I get the lady who is fresh off her cigarette break. I know it seems rude when she trying to make polite conversation but I can't really respond because I'm holding my breath the whole time. Well, this time when I walked in the "salon" (can you really call BoRics a salon?) I could see all the way through to the open back door where there was a girl sitting outside on an empty milk crate. As soon as I walked in she got up, came in, took my name, and told me to sit down in her chair. As I walked over to her chair I began to practice my deep breathing. I quickly realized that she hadn't been smoking but did just polish off a bag of Fritos corn chips. I just can't win.

I have mentioned my problem to Kenna who has suggested I go to her hair stylist who has a no smoking policy for her employees but she charges more than $20 for a haircut. I'll be honest, for me to sink a lot of money into hair care is like paying into social security. Something tells me that when I retire neither one is going to be there for me. At this point the "stylists" spent most of their time on the "perimeter" of my scalp anyway. What is really annoying is when they wander off my scalp completely and start messing with my ears and eyebrows.

What I don't understand is that in the morning when I look in the mirror this is what I see...

But that may be because reality is just too hard to face.